Way of Fixing a broken relationship

When it comes to fixing a broken relationship, one must ask themselves, "how much work am I prepared to do to put the pieces back together again?"

If you find yourself pondering that question for any length of time, there may be nothing you can do. Why? Because a relationship, or more importantly, strengthening a relationship, should not be viewed upon as work.

I know all the experts say that relationships take work, and in fact, the majority of them do. But you must remind yourself of a time when your relationship was new and how you felt during the first blossoming of that powerful emotion, LOVE.

At that time, how much work were you actually doing in the relationship? The answer is, absolutely none.

Think about if for a moment. If it required work to fall in love, how many of us would actually set about doing it? The answer is, no one would.

Here is a list of the first ten synonyms listed for the word work in the most comprehensive Thesaurus in print today: Labor, toil, exertion, effort, slavery, sweat, drudgery, grind, travail, chore

Not my idea of falling in love. Here's my recollection of how I felt when I fell in love for the first time: Warmth, passion, excitement, longing, delight, attachment, desire

You do not work towards any of those feelings and emotions, and, if you no longer think of these things when you look into your partners eyes, it may be to late to salvage what once was.

If, however, the once passionate fire has died down but there is still evidence of an ember or a spark or two, it is not to late to fan the flames of desire back into a towering inferno of love!

Pardon the metaphors, but I want you to get a sense of the emotions that have to be involved for a relationship to actually, dare I say it, work.

I want you to try an exercise for me and I want you to answer the following question with as much honesty as you can muster:

When you think about your partner, what are the first eight defining words that come to mind?

Go ahead, take a moment or two and write down the first words that come to mind when you ask yourself that question. It's important not to "think" to hard about this because your rational mind will try and make excuses for what you may actually be feeling and you will be left with an inaccurate picture of your relationship.

Now, look at the words you have written down and put them into one of two categories. Good feelings and emotions or Bad feelings and emotions.

I think you have some idea already of how you feel about your relationship and if you have more words in the Bad column than you do in the Good column, I would consider long and hard just why you are still in the relationship. It is extremely difficult to work at "feeling" differently and your fire may have long since died out.

If however, you still have many good things to say about you partner and you can recognize that it just may be your life that's getting in the way of love, happiness and fulfillment, you actually have a great chance at rekindling that love.

You need help though. Even the most passionate relationships can use a splash of fuel from time to time to keep the fires burning. There are many resources and experts out there that you can choose from to provide you and your partner with high octane ideas that will help keep your relationship hot and steamy.

MISTAKES NAIJA GIRLS MAKE IN BED

1) Dont Fake It
Its no secret men love women who have orgasms but faking it to please them only robs you of the pleasure you deserve to have. Besides, if he think he is doing it right, it only makes him repeat the same style that achieved the fictitious result, and only takes you further away from actually having orgasms with him. What a shame. If its your first time together, then, get off to an honest beginning. If you dont have an orgasm, and he asks if you did, be honest and tell him the truth. The more you like him, the more honest you need to be with him.

2) Show & Tell
Men can't read women's feelings like their palm. If you are not having orgasms with him, show and tell your man what he needs to do, and dont be afraid of appearing too liberated. Men love a challenge, especially this one, and a real man admires woman who can talk her way through it. Give honest feedback and lead him to the finish line. Its difficult to please a woman who cannot please herself. If you dont know what to tell him, and you dont masturbate, please start, and do use a normal size prop without electricity (if yours doesnt have batteries). When you find the spot, action, intensity, or combination that works, tell him what it is, and how well you both can work on that together until you both make "fireworks" from your energy. I call that recreation at its finest.

3) Connect
If you both are connected emotionally, the experience can last as long as you want it to last, and it can be everything you both want it to be. Due to abandonment and other issues, some women go out of their way to disconnect. This behavior may protect your heart but will do nothing to your sexual experiences. Intimacy is not sex and sex is not intimacy, but intimate sex can be wonderful. If you have abandoned issues, try this: Say to yourself I may not love you tomorrow but right now I love you more than anyone I've ever known. Now connect and give yourself to him. You just might have the orgasm of your life and he may too.

4) Dont Kick the Dog
Rejection in lovemaking is the worst of all things. Men are so much like puppies. Imagine coming home after a long day and your puppy bounces to the door with the most affectionate greeting, but rather than kneeling to shower him with love and affection, you kick the poor doggy. How often do you think that needs to happen before the little guy slows his approach and finally stops greeting you altogether? The same goes for men. Unless you want him to lose interest, and that can happen quite easily, find the energy to get yourself into it, each time and forever.

5) Your Sex Drive
The only difference between a great friendship and romance is sex. In matchmaking, I try to match sex drives right along with all of the other stuff. When I interview men and women, I ask them to tell me a number from one to ten, lowest to highest, of how often they like to have sex per week. While a four and a six will usually work things out, a four and a seven likely wont, and neither will a two and a five, let alone a two and a seven. Save yourself six months in a relationship going nowhere. At the earliest point possible, mention your sex drive in a conversation so you two are on the same page.
Note: Contrary to popular belief, most women have very awesome and healthy sex drives.

(6) Think Beyond The Bed
That mattress is for sleeping, and occasionally for sex, but if your sex life is boring, you are probably horizontal way too much. Find different places in the apartment, and find different places other than the apartment. Elevators, staircases, bathrooms and boardrooms are only the beginning. Always be on the lookout for a great place to take your lover, and if you are creative, surprise him by leading him to the spot you discovered. Guess what sweetheart? I found a new spot. Now get over here. Think 9 Weeks to make your love life last a lifetime.

(7) Take the Lead
Men love it when women initiate sex. secondly they feel desired and totally gets turned on when women initiate sex.

(8) Go for an Oscar
Not all women enjoy giving oral sex. The few ones who it do make their man feel like they'd do it for as long as they wanted. You don't rush it. Your man is always happy when you wait for him to signal you that he's ready for it. The result is that a man feels better connected to his woman, which will make the main event last longer and nice for you as well. If you are one of the women who does not enjoy giving oral sex, it would be in your best interest to pretend you are going for an Academy Award for Best Actress in an Action Thriller.

9) Lets Talk or Not
People are split on the subject of talking during sex. Many can go either way. Try to find out early what your partner likes and doesnt like when it comes to talking like "I have a client that I introduced to a devout Catholic Italian Countess. They were in Saint Barths for their second rendezvous (their first was in Paris) when she mentioned to him every day how difficult it still was for her (at 32 years old) to escape the guilt of having sex. Midweek he called me for advice. Maybe she is hinting at what she really wants, bla bla bla. Try whispering "you are such a bad boy" while you are making love and and dont let your sex conversation distract his attention. Sex is about pleasing your partner, and if everybody felt that way, wed all be a lot happier. Of course, life would be a lot easier too if you would simply ask your man what he would like to hear or not hear.

10) Get In Sync
If you've just started fooling around, and he caresses your hair or something innocuous like that, don’t moan like you are being ravaged by a minotaur. Melodrama during sex is highly annoying. On the other hand, if you are in sync, anything goes including all the sound effects of a jungle. And if one of you does something silly, go ahead and laugh so you both will. After all, were doing it for the fun, right?

You guys know that yours truly really likes Yvonne Nelson abi? I think that is not in doubt, but I was shown some recent photos of her, and I thought I should share for your opinion.

Are these photos of my dear Yvonne Nelson hot or not?

Why I operate a taxi — Abuja female driver

Curiosity. That was the main reason for choosing to ride in Ms. Aisha Umar’s taxi in the Federal Capital Territory on Friday .

Ms Aisha Umar has been a taxi driver in Abuja for over five years. Her handling of the vehicle is professional. She calls out for passengers and attends to matters relating to her job cheerfully and promptly too. She is never shy; and almost every day, she has had to answer questions, especially from many inquisitive male passengers. That, she does, courteously.

According to her, taxi business was the last thing on her mind when she dropped out of the university over 10 years ago.

She was in her second year studying Public Administration at the University of Abuja when she became pregnant.

Her initial plan was to take a break for one year to have her baby and then return to the school to complete her studies.

But the plan failed and that changed her course.

Today, Aisha, a 33 year old single parent, is a taxi driver in the FCT. She is the first lady taxi driver in the nation’s capital.

She was the only woman in the business for over five years until about six months ago when another lady took up the job at the FCT, apparently impressed by Aisha’s success.

And business has been good, she admits.

According to her, she pays her rents and takes care of the family with what she makes from the taxi.

Five years is a lot of time to perfect the commercial driving act and most people are not surprised that the lady handles the steering, driving around the city, picking and dropping passengers with a high level of dexterity.

Aisha, a mother of two, told our correspondent why she had to abandon her trading business and went into taxi business. She said it started by accident.

She had returned from Algeria, leaving her husband behind when it was obvious that the marriage would not work. She came back to Abuja with two kids, a boy and a girl.

She immediately went into trading and was dealing in clothing materials.

As a lively woman, many liked to patronise her.

She bought a car, a Nissan Sunny. It helped her to move the wares around, supply interested friends while she collected money later.

Only few paid for the materials on delivery; many bought on credit. The debt kept mounting and it was beginning to affect the business. She was fed up but she could not call it quits because there was no other means of survival.

One Saturday, she set out to meet some of her debtors. It was all stories, Aisha said. She became dejected. The fuel in her car was running low and she needed to top it up but there was no money.

As she was driving back home, dejectedly, a middle-aged man who appeared stranded, having waited for a cab for about an hour, flagged her down. Aisha stopped, almost absent-mindedly.

The guy asked if she could take him to Asokoro. She agreed and got N350 for the effort. And as soon as the man alighted from the car, another man entered and paid N400 for a journey of about the same distance. That was how it started.

She said, “At Wuse, a man stopped me and asked if he could help get more passangers into the car at N50 each and I accepted. And I got N250 on the short trip.

“That first day, I went home with N1,700, that was after I had filled my tank with N2,300 worth of fuel.”

The next day, she hit the road very early. And since then, she has not looked back.

Aisha has changed her car. It was in 2008, a year after she started the taxi business. She bought another Nissan Sunny for N650,000. It was an imported used car, but a newer model.

She has not set eyes on her estranged husband since they parted many years ago. But she is not bothered about that. As long as her taxi business is not hampered in any way that will affect the upkeep of her children, she is happy.

Akon Sued Over His Failed Social Network

 

"Fantrace" was created by Akon and 2 business partners who wanted it to be a Facebook- type forum where fans interact with celebs. Great idea, but according to ABV it was poorly executed. 

ABV says it put in 1,023 hours of work — worth $127,875 — and wants to get paid ASAP. 

According to TMZ, Akon was called for comment, and 
he said — "Konvict … Muzik." 

No further details has suffaced. We'll keep you 
appraised.

How to Write a Professional Cover Letter

Instructions

1. The first sentence of your cover letter should indicate your interest in a specific position. For example you might say: "I am applying for the Receptionist position posted on your website." Recruiters are often hiring for a number of positions at the same time so you want to ensure that your letter goes in the right pile.

 

2. The first paragraph should explain why you're a good candidate for the position. Use key words from the job description in your letter. Be honest; don't state that you're analytical if that skill is truly not your strongest suit. Lead with your most impressive skills that directly relate to the position. 

 

3.   Elaborate on accomplishments in your second paragraph. Describe how you increased sales during one quarter or how you found a way to save your company thousands of dollars each year. Highlighting impressive accomplishments, especially those that relate to the position or the work that the company does shows how you would be an asset to the company.

4. Finish the letter in a third paragraph by thanking the reader for her time. A good way to end a cover letter is by requesting a time and date to have a meeting to discuss the position.
Close with a formal sign-off like "Sincerely." Include your contact information in the final paragraph so that the employer knows how to reach you for an interview.

 e.g. ******************************

 

Date

Name
Title
Organization
Address
City, State

Dear Mr./Ms. Last Name: I am interested in the assistant position advertised in XXX. I am currently employed as Legislative Director for Assemblywoman XXXX, Chairperson of the NYS Assembly XXX. I accepted this position because of the emphasis on the writing and research skills which are applicable to your requirements for an author’s assistant. My experience in the NYS Assembly has afforded me the opportunity to become familiar with the consolidated and unconsolidated laws of the State of New York. I also have extensive experience in legal and policy research.
In my position as Legislative Director for Ms. XXX, I prepare her personal legislation which deals with issues relative to her position as Senior Member of the NYS Assembly Standing Committee on XXXX. In as much as she is Chairperson of the XXX Committee I am, of course, heavily involved in the current welfare and Medicaid reform movement.
In response to your search for a part-time assistant, I believe my experience in the Legislature, and my research and writing skills qualify me for consideration. If you would like, I can provide you with current samples of my work.
To further acquaint you with the specifics of my background I am enclosing my resume. I hope you will consider me for this position. I look forward to meeting with you and discussing my qualifications in more detail.
Sincerely,

Your Signature

Your Typed Name
 

16 Policemen Burnt To Death In Auto Crash

Sixteen policemen, who had just passed out of Police College were yesterday burnt to death at Omu-Aran area of Kwara State following an auto crash involving a Mercedes Benz car and a Hummer bus.
According to eyewitnesses, the accident occurred at about 9:00 a.m in front of the Federal Government Girls College, Omu-Aran in Irepodun Local Government Area of the state.
The Toyota Hummer bus which the policemen chattered was travelling from Ilorin to Nasarawa State, while the Mercedes Benz car with number plate Kaduna AB 347 BKA was coming from the opposite direction and rammed into the “police vehicle.”
The impact it was said was massive and caused the fire to erupt. Rescuers who arrived too late couldn’t do anything as the two vehicles were said to have been burnt into ashes before their arrival.
Three of the victims however survived and were rushed to Omu-Aran General Hospital where they are receiving treatment.
It was learnt that the policemen were indigenes of Kwara who were trained in Lagos. They reportedly made a detour to Ilorin enroute Nasarawa State where they were allegedly posted to before they met their untimely death.
Confirming the accident, the Police Public Relations Officer, Fabode Femi, who said the police were aware of the accident, however, added that he was yet to confirm the number of casualty.
He assured that he would brief the press as soon as he was able to get the accurate figure of the victims.

Aliko Dangote Acquires Multi Million Naira Luxury Yacht

Report has it that the richest man in African, Aliko Dangote, recently took delivery of a luxury yacht said to be worth millions of Naira. The Yacht, which was specially built for him, is called Mariya, and it’s currently sitting at Carrington Crescent, behind Femi Otedola’s office in Victoria Island.

Obama takes oath of office, begins second term

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama took the oath of office Sunday to begin a second term threatened by strife at home and abroad and amid inaugural rituals lacking the hope and historic promise of 2009.
Obama, with a slight smile, took the oath at an intimate, private ceremony in the Blue Room of the White House lasting less than a minute, raising his right arm and placing his left hand on a family Bible.
The president solemnly swore to “faithfully execute the office of President of the United States” and to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, so help me God.”
Chief Justice Roberts, who stumbled when swearing in Obama to open his first term in 2009, read each line of the oath out loud, before the president repeated words first intoned by George Washington, 224 years ago.
After a ceremony lasting less than a minute, Obama hugged his wife, and children Malia, 14 and Sasha, 11 before quipping: “I did it” to his youngest daughter.
Obama will take the oath of office for a second time at a time-honored outdoor public ceremony at the US Capitol on Monday.

Malia Obama (2nd R) and Sasha Obama (R) watch as US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts (2nd L) administers the oath of office to US President Barack Obama for a second term in the Blue Room of the White House.

Vice President Joe Biden was sworn in before his boss at an early morning ceremony at his official residence, before the two laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Ceremony.
Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor — picked by Obama to be the first Hispanic judge to sit on the top court in his first term — made her own slice of history by leading Biden as he took the oath.
As his first term waned, Obama worshipped at a prominent African American church in Washington, where the Reverend Ronald Braxton adapted the “Forward” motto of the president’s re-election campaign to the story of Moses.
“Forward was the only option,” said Braxton.
Obama, 51, will embark on a second term at a time of deep partisan division in Washington, and will face foreign crises testing his legacy, including Iran’s nuclear program and resurgent Islamist militancy in North Africa.
Senior aide David Plouffe said the president would use his second inaugural address before an expected 500,000 plus crowd — much smaller than in 2009 — to stress the national truths Americans share.
“He is going to talk about how our founding principles and values can still guide us in today’s modern and changing world,” Plouffe said on the ABC News show “This Week.”
“He is going to say that our political system does not require us to resolve all of our differences or settle all of our disputes, but it is absolutely imperative that our leaders try and seek common ground.”
Obama’s second inauguration, which comes courtesy of an election win over Republican Mitt Romney in November, lacks the historical resonance of January 20, 2009, when he was sworn in as the first black American president.
Since then, a graying Obama has struggled to accelerate a weak economic recovery, failed to meet hugely elevated expectations for his presidency and waged a political war of attrition with Republicans.
He begins anew with several fierce budget battles looming in Congress, and his “Yes We Can” rhetoric soured by sarcasm over the blocking tactics of Republicans in the partisan brouhaha paralyzing government in Washington.
Abroad, the US confrontation with Iran is fast-headed to a critical point with the specter of military action becoming ever more real the longer diplomacy over Tehran’s nuclear program remains stuck in neutral.
And terror strikes that killed Americans in Benghazi and Algeria call into question Obama’s election year sound bite that “Al-Qaeda is on the run,” despite the killing of Osama bin Laden in Pakistan in 2011.
Muscle-flexing by China and rising tensions in contested waters with its neighbors, as well as North Korea’s nuclear belligerence, will meanwhile test the president’s signature pivot of US diplomacy to Asia.
Obama was taking the oath of office on Sunday to comply with the US Constitution, which dictates his first term ends at noon on January 20.
Tradition states that when that date falls on a Sunday, a private swearing-in is followed on Monday by the public festivities, including the second oath taking, the address, parade and glittering inaugural balls.
Obama knows that for second term presidents, power quickly wanes and political potholes await.
The second term “curse” often strikes: Richard Nixon resigned, Bill Clinton was impeached, George W. Bush’s image was shattered by Iraq and Hurricane Katrina and Ronald Reagan’s legacy was marred by the Iran-Contra scandal.
Plouffe said however that with a full agenda, including immigration reform, gun control and speeding the economic recovery, Obama would hardly be shuffling around the White House looking for things to do.